Target Field Vincent burger downtown minneapolis Target Field's Vincent burger is no joke. I'm still sure it's better at Vincent, but the ballpark version is a lot better than it could've been.
Louie's Bucket of Bones Ribs Ironton I knew something was wrong with the Minnesota Monthly's list of "Best Minnesota Barbeque" when Ted Cook's was ignored in favor of C&G's. Which--come on. Anyway, circumstance led us to be very near Ironton, Minnesota, home of the #7 BBQ joint on the magazine's list, Louie's Bucket Of Bones. So I dragged Libby and her North Country entourage along to give it a shot. And as you can imagine from the opening sentence of this post, none of us walked away terribly impressed. Which surprised us, because everything about this place makes it seem like it's going to be amazing; from the funky exterior, to the homemade menu, to the incredibly personable and gracious owner and her passionate descriptions of their cooking process, the place definitely has the feeling that you're experiencing something special. And then the food comes, and it just doesn't live up to the hype. Nothing was bad, at all. It was all competent and good and fine. But it was nothing that you couldn't get anywhere else. The ribs were a little tough, the sauce tasted sort of generic, etc. I'm calling it "BBQ Theater." Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The two staff members of Ted Cook's (or, say, Arthur Bryant's in KC) may yell at you from behind the kitchen wall and disdain your very presence, but the food is amazing. This was sort of the opposite. Which is fine, I guess. If I lived up there, I'd probably go there often enough (just for the atmosphere if anything), but don't bother making the 2.5 hour drive just to do it.
Bar Harbor Cheeseburger Nisswa My new least favorite thing at restaurants: secondary menus. Bar menus, pub menus, patio menus, whatever. I had a lame experience at Mabel Murphy's in Fergus Falls a few weeks back, where I was sitting in the "pub" section of the restaurant, where they give you a different menu than the dining room. In that case, they at least let you order off the main menu if you ask for it, but they definitely didn't go out of their way to let me know that before I ordered off the pub menu. And now, up at Scott's cabin, I got to order from a "patio menu"! (We were sitting on the patio, you see). This time, with my Fergus Falls experience fresh in my mind, I smelled that something was up, and asked about the dining room menu. And they said 'yes,' they did have one, but we weren't allowed to order from it on the patio. Ugh. So I got a bacon cheeseburger, I guess, and it wasn't great and was very expensive. But at least we were on a patio, lesser customers or not.
Day By Day Cafe Sausage hash St. Paul I was first excited when I overheard a server at the Day By Day mention that Carl Pavano was eating breakfast out on their patio. They even mentioned something about a mustache. But later in the day it occurred to me that the Twins had a 1:00 game that afternoon, and Carl Pavano was most likely nowhere near Day By Day's patio, nor was he eating breakfast anywhere at that moment. Plus, the italian sausage has I ordered barely qualifies as "hash."
3 Tiers "Elvis" Cupcake South Minneapolis 3 Tiers is now offering peanut butter, bacon, and banana cupcakes. And they are awesome. Take note, trendy hipster cupcake joints: this is the shit you should be doing!
Glaciers Cafe Chili dog South Minneapolis Well, my second stab at Glaciers in a week, and I must say... I'm still impressed. Vienna beef chili dog with some solid homemade chili, Libby had a totally respectable flatbread pizza. And we finally tried their frozen custard, which was fast-melting but otherwise perfect. Still, there's something off about the place; something between the service and the atmosphere and the menu that just does nothing to help their otherwise above-par food offerings. Too much blue, I think. Seriously. Read the link...
Charlies Cafe Steak sandwich Freeport Oh, by the way, I forgot to write about how I went to Charlie's Cafe in Freeport, MN on the way to visit a giant TV tower in North Dakota. It was supposedly the inspiration for the make believe cafe in Garrison Keillor's Lake Woebegone universe (universe?). It was okay.
Glaciers Cafe Chicken sandwich South Minneapolis Glaciers is one of those places that, until very recently, I had never even considered considering. I hardly even knew what it was; all I knew of it was just a overly-slick mountain logo on a couple signs near the Town Talk. Coffee shop? Smoothie stand? Tibetan bakery? Close. Turns out it's a frozen custard place first and foremost. That explains the glaciers. And they have breakfast. And burgers. And pizzas and sandwiches? I only decided to try it because I saw an ad in the City Pages that had a photo of a burger on it. I'll be totally honest: the place needs a lot of help. The interior is neither exciting nor intimate. The design of everything is pretty amateurish, in a bad way. And the service was fairly slow, as it seemed like there were just two teenagers running the whole place. But hot diggity dog the sandwich was outstanding! Plus it came with "Kansas City style" cole slaw, which was like no other cole slaw I've ever had. So in the end, even though I didn't have any of their (supposedly very good) frozen custard, I'm left feeling like Glaciers could be a really great place. But right now it just makes me sad.
Loring Kitchen and Bar Meatloaf and ribs Downtown Minneapolis I can't believe I'm at a point in my life where I can be let down by a menu. But here we are. I heard this place was good, found myself in Loring Park, and got a nice table outside on their patio. Then I looked at the menu, and it was just so boring. So boring, in fact, that I can't even remember what was on it at the moment to make fun of it. They did have some halfway interesting looking small plates, so that's what I did. Chorizo meatloaf (easily the most interesting item they had), barbeque ribs, and roasted brussel sprouts with bacon and blue cheese. And for as boring as it all sounds, it was all surprisingly fantastic; especially the brussel sprouts. I'm actually salivating thinking about them right now. The meatloaf was #2, and the ribs a respectable third (they were really good at the time, but afterwards I started thinking that they weren't all that special). So while I actually ended up being happy with the place, I've already exhausted my options there. So I guess that's that.
Midtown Farmers Market Hot dog, steak taco South Minneapolis Libby dragged me, kicking and screaming and kvetching even, to the Midtown Farmers Market. This was a compromise of sorts, after the previous Saturday's trip to the downtown Farmer's Market, which had all the human cattle of the State Fair, without the upside of having actual cattle. (I can ignore the inhumanity of the State Fair only for the potential that I might get to touch a mammal with multiple stomachs. Libby can ignore the same inhumanity of the Farmer's Market only for the potential that she might find some good lettuce. Which elsewhere is currently making its way to a cow's second stomach. A free range cow, mind you, that will someday be sectioned off and sold. Possibly at a farmer's market.) The Midtown Market is much more negotiable than the big downtown one, and actually had better on-site lunch options to boot. We shared a hot dog from the Magic Bus, which is a worthy competitor to the Chef Shack in the much-appreciated world of gourmet traveling food trucks. I'd still give Chef Shack the slight edge, not only because their food is a little more well-conceived, but you also don't have the indignity of ordering from a human cartoon in a Grateful Dead shirt and a flower crown. We also got a steak taco from Taco Taxi, which I've never seen around town before, but was quite delicious. Good steak, cilantro and onions and radish, and fresh, spicy salsa, and for just $2, which at the farmer's market is the same amount it would cost you to buy a bunch of cilantro, 7 onions, 12 radishes, a jar of homemade salsa, and two cow stomachs.
Grocery Stores 5th Avenue bar South Minneapolis You know the feeling you get when you eat a Butterfinger bar? That feeling like you just ate something magical, yet your teeth are coated with quick-dry plaster? Awful. As much as love Butterfingers, I hardly ever eat them, because I don't consider physical misery to be part of a pleasant eating experience (* see: Lotus of Siam). So shame on me for never having tried a 5th Avenue bar. You've probably seen them before: they're in the Sadness section of your local grocer, decked out in the same packaging they've had since 1930, in between the RC Cola and the 100 Grand bars. But these things are great! They taste just like Butterfingers, but without all the baggage. I think the chocolate/peanut butter ratio is much closer; they're about the same width, while 5th Avenues are only half the height. And the crispy, crunchy, peanut buttery (TM) inside is just slightly less sweet and sticky, and therefore more easily masticated than a Butterfinger. I need to stock up on some crates of these things, because I get the feeling that Hersheys is waiting for the last of America's 70+ set to die out so they can finally stop making these things, because I'm not sure if anyone born after the depression buys them.
Subo Some stir fried noodle thing Downtown Minneapolis "Subo" is Filipino, I guess, for "eat". Or "food". Or something like that. I don't really remember. But their logo has a fork and a spoon in it, so that's gotta be close. Anyway, I didn't find it to be nearly as exotic or impressive as the press has made it seem. Which is too bad, because I was hoping for something new and good downtown. It wasn't bad, but it was just nothing to write home about. Mostly small plate offerings; "tapas style," the waiter said. I'd complain about it being some cheesy attempt at fusion, until I remember that the Philippines itself is a bit of a fusion nation, thanks to our old Spanish pal Ferdinand Magellan. Oh wait--he was Portuguese. The point is, I tried three different things: Green curry potato cakes, pork spring rolls, and a dish that was sort of a combination of pad thai and paella. Considering the fire and passion displayed by the Filipino people that brutally killed Magellan with rocks and clubs on the shallow shores of Mactan, you'd think they'd have a little excitement in their cuisine. But mostly it was just salty.
Kokomos Jamaican pork something Bloomington I had to walk past the front entrance about 5 times before I built up the courage to actually walk into Kokomo. You know the place, right? Up on the third floor of the Mall of America? Across from the Forest Gump restaurant? Looks like it was designed by the gay brother of a cartoon witch doctor on an ether binge? Yeah, that's the place. I probably don't need to tell you how the food tastes, or what led me to eat there to begin with, but I will quote for one of their menu options: Bob Marley's Soup Of The Day. Just ask your beach staff for Bob’s favorite bowl of soup! Lobster bisque, if you were wondering. Wow.
Uptown Cafeteria Chicken and waffles Uptown Minneapolis Uptown is stupid. So stupid. Urban outfitters is stupid. North Face and Columbia and the Apple store are stupid. Calhoun Square is stupid. Chino Latino and Stella's and Il Gatto are stupid. The Uptown Cafeteria is stupid, and everybody that was there on Thursday was stupid. It's all stupid. The chicken and waffles, however, were fantastic. Dammit.
Szechuan Boiled beef in szechuan sauce Roseville City Pages named Szechuan the best Chinese restaurant of 2010. I can't say that it's not. But what I can say is that you shouldn't order the boiled beef in szechuan sauce if you actually plan on enjoying yourself the day after.
Pop! Steak sandwich Northeast Minneapolis First time back to Pop in a long, long, time (years?), and I was not disappointed in the least. In fact, I realized that I've never had a bad meal at Pop. Everything has been somewhere on the scale of good-to-great, this steak sandwich approaching the 'great' part. The only minor gripe I have is that they need to consider changing up their menu; it seems to be exactly the same as it was last time I went there, whenever that was.
Wagners Drive-In BBQ beef sandwich Brooklyn Center Totally worth the drive. It's a real, honest-to-god drive-in, and the service is friendly and the barbeque sauce was actually homemade. It's too perfect.
Brasa Beef and chicken St. Paul It is believed that about 1.8 million years ago, random genetic mutations in a series of generations of Homo Erectus (or, arguably, Homo Antecessor) led him to find himself with a larger brain and smaller teeth than his ancestors, which in turn led him to heat his food over fire in order to more efficiently chew and digest it. Some scientists may argue the timeline of this genetic and behavioral shift, many believing that it happened closer to 700,000 years ago, while many others, mostly those of a hard-line Christian faith, believe man was placed on this earth with inherent and unquestioned knowledge about the cooking of our food only 4,000 years ago by a singular, omnipresent creator. And now we have Brasa.
Al Vento Lamb bolognese South Minneapolis It somehow took us 6 months, but Libby and I finally at dinner at Al Vento last night. Yes, I've had it quite a few times before (mostly lunches), but this was our first official dinner there as neighbors. And it was super good. Even better than my bolognese was the blue prawn appetizer we had. Despite the fact that prawns look like freaky little aliens, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Some sort of white bean sauce with citrus. Who knows. It was great though, and respectably affordable. And I spilled all over my shirt, too, so that's cool.
Colossal Cafe Eggs and sausage South Minneapolis So Libby and I decided to try out the Colossal Cafe this morning for breakfast, only to find a camera crew filming for an episode of Drive Ins, Diners and Dives on the Food Network. At first I figured maybe we'd just be in the background while we were waiting in line, but after we sat down outside waiting for our food, it became clear that they were definitely going to do something with us. Libby ordered some fancy pancakes with apples and brie, and I ordered a plain old eggs/hash browns/sausage plate. As soon as the food came, we were swarmed by a camera, boom mic, and jovial producer who immediately started making small talk with us (he was clearly a master of making small talk with complete strangers). And they filmed us eating. So weird. I'm fully aware that I eat like a slob, but suddenly when there is a big professional HD camera 10 inches away from my plate, following my every move, eating became some sort of controlled, choreographed mission to keep my damn fingers out of the ketchup. I think I succeeded. So then after they left us alone to finish our meals, they came right back for the interview portion. Now, I was comfortable with the idea of speaking on camera, but I was sort of intimidated by the speed and certainty of the film crew. It wasn't really a case of them asking if we wanted to talk and giving us time to think... they simply surrounded us and started questioning. And I was awful. I kept looking at Libby and looking down the street, and the producer guy (bless his heart) kept reminding me to look at him. And I had nothing to say. Which is funny, because I sit and write crap about food all the time on this website. But the meal I ordered was so normal, that the only thing I could manage to talk about was the homemade sausage. And how it was homemade. They make it there, I think. Like, homemade sausage. WIth fennel in it, maybe? Idiot. What I really wanted to talk about was how I'd thought for years that the Colossal was a vegetarian/vegan diner, and it was only last week that I was informed otherwise. But all I could get out was "sausage good." Oh, I also described the toast as "beefy." Jesus. Libby was much better, and I'll bet she makes the final cut. I certainly won't.
Target Field Chili Downtown Minneapolis Target Field Update! The Loon chili totally had steak in it this time! No ground beef! And it was spicier than it was last time, too. So good.
Hogan Brothers Corned beef sandwich Northfield Hogan Brothers seems to make a decent sandwich. Fine. But more importantly, the city of Northfield really does smell like Malt-O-Meal. I always thought that was some sort of rumor or joke or wive's tale. But no. It's like sticking your face into a newly opened bag of Marshmallow Mateys. Crazy.
The Sports Page Cheeseburger Bloomington Well, the old Sports Page is gone, but not entirely. Turns out they just renovated and expanded it, not move it completely. And while it's a little bit of a bummer to not have the same Sports Page experience with all the newly painted walls and much larger bar and kitchen, the food is still good, and the prices are the same. Still, the same joy I used to experience at the place is gone. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.
Target Field Everything Downtown Minneapolis - Loon Cafe chili
We all know that I love the Loon's chili. Best in the city. So I was pretty excited when I found out they'd be using the Loon recipe for Target Field's chili. With a couple understandable exceptions (ground beef instead of brisket/roast, no sour cream or other garnishes), it actually tasted quite good. Also, for $6, you get a pretty good sized portion. They definitely don't skimp.
- Kramarczuk polish sausage
Paul and I tried finding a Kramarczuk booth before the game, which was no easy task given the insane amount of human traffic in the main concourse. But when we eventually spotted it, the lines on both sides were zonkers. At least 50 people deep. I eventually found another one in the 2nd inning, and got a polish sausage with fried onions. It was clearly a good quality sausage, but unfortunately wasn't as well-done as I'd like. Still, for the price, it's definitely worth finding a Kramarczuk booth instead of going with the lame house dogs.
- Nachos
Totally decent. Far better than Metrodome nachos.
- Cuban sandwich
Ahh. The surprise winner (or leader, at least) in the Target Field food-off. There are only a couple tiny little carts labeled "Tony O's," named for Tony Oliva, an old Cuban Twins superstar who is known for his love of cuban sandwiches (and for Victor's 1959 Cafe). I didn't buy one myself, simply because they were clearly produced by the generic Sportservice food people, and not by someone who, you know, makes Cuban sandwiches. But Katie got one, and was nice enough to let me try it. Well color me shocked at how good this sandwich was. Like, wow. I've had plenty of Cubans at various restaurants around town, and this was actually one of the best. Crazy, right? Obviously it has nothing on Victors, but considering it's being sold at a random cart at Target Field, I could barely believe it tasted that good. Its only competition could be the Vincent burger, which I still haven't tried. Maybe next time?
All in all, I really think that Target Field probably has the best food of any of the 15-16 ballparks I've been to. Some have better hot dogs (Milwaukee, Boston, Los--well, a lot have better hot dogs), and some might have the random great item (Baltimore's barbeque, or San Francisco's garlic fries. And does KC have an Arthur Bryant's now?), but I haven't seen anywhere that comes close to the sheer quantity of quality choices as Target Field. Now if they could only do something about their damn scoreboards...
Hot Plate Bacon glazed doughnut South Minneapolis I don't have much more to say about Hot Plate's breakfasts after my third trip there (still good-but-underwhelming). But, this time around there was an added bonus: Glazed doughnuts with bacon sprinkles. It's exactly what it sounds like; a homemade fried doughnut topped off with fresh bacon bits and glazed, Krispy Kreme style. The first bite is a little curious, but by the end you're thinking, "Wow. I want another one." I asked the waitress if they'd have it every weekend, since it was listed as a special. She wasn't sure, because it was the first time they ever tried them. Apparently Hot Plate's owner saw a place on "Drive Ins, Diners and Dives" that served them, and thought he'd give it a shot. I gave her my official vote that they keep them on the menu. So we'll see.
Joys Pattaya Basil duck Richfield In order to prolong an otherwise brief and destinationless bike ride, I decided to eat tonight at the Calico Elephant, a Thai restaurant in what used to (pretty obviously) be an old American diner on Lyndale near 494. Not surprisingly, when I got there I found that the Calico Elephant was gone, but in its place was Joy's Pattaya. I don't know what a Pattaya is (or who Joy is for that matter), but since I just rode nearly 7 miles to get there, I said "what the hell" and got a table. And wouldn't you know, it was actually pretty darn good. I mean, maybe not as great as my last meal at Sen Yai Sen Lek, or even close to as good as the Thai Restaurant Of Death in Las Vegas, but you could tell they know what they're doing. Aside from standard Thai fare, they have some interesting items like a pumpkin curry (which, rumor has it, is actually served in a pumpkin), and spring rolls with avacado and mango (which weren't my cup of tea, but I bet Libby would love them). My duck stir fry, for example, included fresh green beans and bok choy, which I don't really see in Thai food too often, but gave it a certain unique flair. My only qualm was that there was maybe a little too much skin and fat on the duck, which was otherwise tender and tasty, so I'll let that slide. I'll definitely be going back to this place in the future (it's small and cozy, too). I just hope they last a little longer than the Calico Elephant.
Sen Yai Sen Lek Pad kee mao Northeast Minneapolis Awesome lunch at Sen Yai Sen Lek today. Last time (the first and only time) we ate there, I went away with an opinion that one could describe as "optimistically disappointed," in that it was probably my own fault that I didn't love it; I just didn't order the right dish. This time around, I went with the Pad kee mao, which is essentially stir fried noodles (very wide ones) with lots of basil, peppers, mushrooms, and chicken. A simple dish, I suppose, but it tasted fantastic. Pretty much exactly what I always hope for when I try new Thai places. Really, it's probably ruined Sen Yai for me, because I'm never going to order anything else again.
Crave Pulled pork sandwich Bloomington Like the funniest character in a Cormac McCarthy novel, or the most personable TSA agent at the airport, I've decided that the pulled pork sandwich at Crave is the best food item at the Mall of America. Congratulations.
Millside Bacon cheeseburger St. Michael On the drive from Minneapolis to Park Rapids, there is scant little opportunity for a good meal. You'd think between all the small towns you pass, and the 'funky' potential of St. Cloud, that you'd be able to find something other than Perkins or Culvers to eat on your way up north. But despite always being on the lookout for such a place, I've found practically nothing. That's why I've always been intrigued by one highway exit food sign a few miles before Albertville. Big, bold, unadorned black letters spell out "MILLSIDE," and the black silhouette of a burger and fries look so perfect (in a Wes Anderson sort of way) that there'd be no way it could be bad. So on Friday, Libby and I (having already given up on the Maple Grove vortex as a dining possibility after even TGI Fridays had a line out the door) decided to just go for it. Turns out the place is like 3 miles off the highway, and really is tucked away by a the side of a mill. But the unpretentious purity of their black and white sign was spoiled right away by a big, brand new log-cabin style monstrosity, and an overly fussy sign. Oh well. The inside was a no frills small town food hole (but not in a good way). At this point, I don't have much more to add. It was the Friday night fish fry. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and chili. It took a half hour for the food to show up. Other than the insanely long time it took for our food (an experience we clearly shared with a handful of impatient-looking diners sitting near us), I really can't complain about much. The burgers were fine, and the chili even tasted homemade, in a Minnesota chili sort of way. But it didn't live up to the expectations set by its own unassuming exit sign. And now I'm afraid there are no more mysteries to be discovered between here and the North Country.
The Cardinal Patty melt South Minneapolis I just ate a patty melt so perfect that it might have been grilled by God himself. Though since it was just a patty melt we're talking about, it was probably just cooked by one of the Cardinal's meth addict cooks.
Gandhi Mahal Buffet South Minneapolis I finally popped into Gandhi Mahal (near Lake and Hiawatha, sort of by the Town Talk) for their lunch buffet on Sunday. It was fairly cheap, $9.99, and everything I had was good, if maybe not quite as good as Bombay Bistro, and not quite as much to choose from. Plus the chicken tikka masala had tons of little bones in it. But it's the closest Indian place to us, and it was good enough to go back in the future, at least.
Target Field Murrays Steak Sandwich Downtown Minneapolis Today was the Target Field 'preview' game, where you could pay $2 to get in to watch the U of M get their asses kicked by Louisiana Tech from any seat you want. It was a great deal, really, because you could go sit in the $77 seats, go up into the off-limits suites, all that stuff. So it was really fun to go see the place without being confined to your seat, and without having to deal with 40,000 other people. It was so exciting I nearly forgot to try the food! But in the 8th inning, I finally discovered where the sell the infamous Murrays steak sandwiches. They're $10, which seems steep, until you remember that an actual Murrays steak sandwich at the actual Murrays is about $12. And while this ballpark version isn't exactly what you'd get for that $12, it's still surprisingly good. Two thin-ish pieces of steak on a grilled, buttered bun, topped with caramelized onions and provolone. Other than a somewhat scant pile of onions, there really wasn't anything to complain about. I ate it all without dipping it in ketchup, if that says anything. So thumbs up to the steak sandwich!
And three more pieces of Target Field food discoveries that I hadn't heard about previously: 1.) They have Vincent burgers! Jucy lucies stuffed with cheese and short ribs, like at Vincent on Nicollet! I don't know if I even want to try it, since I've never had a "real" one at Vincent yet. It's sort of like saying you've seen Psycho, but only the Vince Vaughn version. 2.) They have Loon chili! From the Loon Cafe! The best chili in the city! Didn't try it, but if it's even close to as good as the "real" stuff, then count me in. And 3.) Kramarczuk has a little booth! They sell brats and some other sausage. I'd imagine it's 10 times better than the crap you'd get at the concession stands. Definitely seek it out.
Dairy Queen Oreo Blizzard South Minneapolis The new Dairy Queen by Minnehaha Park is architectural AIDS. Full-blown. There is no denying that. It's tacky, awkwardly placed, and 10 feet taller than it needs to be. It's a big stupid clown airdropped into a Judi Dench garden party. And also other metaphors. But--but--they actually put a reasonable amount of chunks into their Blizzards now, so maybe I can look the other way.
Bill's Garden General Tsos South Minneapolis We stopped getting Bill's at work a year or so ago after, well, I don't even know what. But after having it for dinner (and leftovers) this weekend, I really think that Bill's is sort of the best cheap/crappy Chinese place in the vicinity. Plus they sell big glass dragon statues and furry tiger ornaments! Can Xin Wong say that? 绝对不会!
Mon Ami Gabi French onion soup Las Vegas Oops, I forgot to post about Mon Ami Gabi. Not a whole lot to say, I guess. It's one of the Paris Hotel's "French" restaurants on the ground floor of their hotel, where Libby and I stopped in quick for a fast pre-dinner. We shared a fantastic cup of French onion soup, and a less-than-fantastic grilled cheese and short rib sandwich. Oh, and some top-notch fries. The place was not too dissimilar to Salut, really. Sort of an American steakhouse/bar with a few French touches. Better atmosphere, maybe. But if I had to choose the better French onion soup, I'd have to go with Salut. Basically, if you were on the strip near Paris and wanted a decent lunch, you could do worse.
Bouchon Bread pudding french toast Las Vegas We ended our Vegas trip with breakfast at Bouchon. Usually I'd imagine a place like Bouchon being a little too upscale for dirty old me, but I'd read their breakfasts were casual and reasonably priced. And Thomas Keller is sort of a deity to some people, the French Laundry and whatnot. Okay, deal. So we traveled up to the 10th floor of the Venetian, away from all the hubub and inanity of the strip, and found ourselves actually in what seemed to be a real, honest-to-god restaurant. Not the Vegas caricature of the "real" Bouchon, but what could honestly just be considered "One of three real Bouchons". It wasn't huge. It wasn't glitzy. The waitstaff was friendly and courteous. And the food, despite not really being my 'cup of tea' was all tremendously crafted. I ordered "Bouchon French toast," which was more like a bread pudding with custard and apples. A little too sour and mushy for my tastes, but you could tell it was correct. Libby liked it a lot more than me. She had some egg bake thing, which was also delicious. Top that off with some great potatoes, house-made blackberry jam, and unquestionably fresh orange juice, and you've got yourself an truly respectable French breakfast, all for the same price as the stupid buffet in your "French" hotel (who make you wait 10 minutes for a table even though you can see, as clear as day, at least 7 open tables within 30 feet of you, but they keep you waiting just so next time you'll pay 5 bucks extra for "VIP" seating, those jerks!).
1. The make-your-own burger concept. This place is the brainchild of Hubert Keller, a legitimate French chef who thought it would be fun to have a burger place. So why is it that there are only like 3 pre-composed burgers on the menu? Why would I be left to choose my own burger's ingredients when a guy named Hubert could've done it for me!? The guy won the burger challenge on Top Chef Masters, for cripes sake!
2. For the price, it really wasn't all that great. I built my burger with organic beef, prosciutto, provolone, and a red wine reduction. It cost me $20 bucks. The sauce tasted fantastic on its own (it would be great on a duck breast or lamb shank or something), but you could hardly taste it on the burger. It was just overwhelmed by everything else. Even the prosciutto sort of disappeared under all the beef. And the fries. They were just pre-made standard sports bar fries, but like $4. Can't you make some real french fries!? Just cut some potatoes and fry'em up! Maybe soak them in malt! I don't know, do something! I understand they're going for the whole "no BS sports bar" schtick, but the fries just seemed cheap. And the cole slaw literally tasted like nothing. Not even worthy of discussion. But speaking of the sports bar thing...
3. The atmosphere.. Awful. Just awful. Again, I'm sure they're just going for the "fun times sports bar" thing, but the interior of this place is just plain lame, especially for Vegas. Like a sub-TGI Fridays. You could pick up the place and move it into downtown Minneapolis and it would still be lame. So consider that's now in the glitz and glamour and over-the-topness of Vegas, and you wonder who ever approved of any of it. Oh, and the logo is horrible and all the waitresses were over-tanned, low pantsed, bitchy skanky Vegas chicks. They selled Burger Bar thongs! What!?
Don't get me wrong. The burger wasn't necessarily bad. The place was just so disappointing that it actually made me mad the more I dwelled on it. Ugh.
Lotus of Siam Nua Yum Katiem Las Vegas Never in my life have I had an experience like this. In my mind, it's an epic tale, but in reality, it's borderline embarrassing. So what happened is this: Lotus Of Siam is a Thai restaurant in a dirty strip mall a mile off the strip, on Sahara Ave., east of the Sahara Casino. After spending only a few minutes on Chowhound's Las Vegas boards, it became clear to me that Lotus was a must eat destination; practically every thread on the board recommended it without hesitation. There have even been national food magazines that have claimed this place to be the best Thai restaurant in North America. Whether this is true or not, I honestly can't say. Not only have I not eaten at every Thai restaurant in North America, I didn't even eat at Lotus of Siam. It ate me. So here's a tip for when you're ordering food at a "real" Thai restaurant: You know how here in Minneapolis they ask you how spicy you want your dish, from 1 to 5? Well I usually go with a 4. Spicy, sure, but very manageable. So when the waiter at Lotus asked me about spice on a scale of 1-10, I did some math and decided on 7. "That's like a 3.5, really." Logical, right? So they bring me my dish, which was pretty much char-grilled skirt steak with garlic and peppers and some lemon juice sauce on a bed of cabbage. After just one bite, I was already impressed. Perfectly cooked beef, fresh cabbage, a sauce tha--Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygod. I can't feel my tongue. Deep breath. Deep breath. It will cool down in a sec--no, no. It's getting worse. It's getting worse! Where's the water, where's the water!? Rice! Rice will help! Oh god the rice just burns more! Libby, Libby let me have a bite of your Pad Thai. Please! Oh god it's like there's an angry cat in my mouth!. And so forth. You get the picture. Easily the spiciest thing I've ever eaten. By the end of the meal, I could actually feel my body temperature rising. I was sort of light headed, and felt even a little nauseous. And yet I ate nearly 3/4ths of my dish, because it was so damn good! And Libby's pad Thai was probably the best I've ever had. And yet I could barely enjoy any of it, because I was just trying not to cry like a girl. In the end, I gave in and asked the waiter for something to help with the spice, and they brought me a tea with cream that worked miraculously, despite setting off an obscene chemical reaction in my stomach. It was truly an event. So in the end, I really wish I could've given it another shot, and next time I'm even anywhere near Las Vegas, I'm going out of my way to eat there again (maybe at like a 4/10 this time). But it might take a while before the night terrors end.
'wichcraft Pork sandwich Las Vegas Our first real food destination in Vegas was a lunch at 'wichcraft, Tom Collicchio's sandwich joint hidden somewhere back in the dark recesses of the MGM Grand. The first thing I noticed about the place (other than the line of 20-something photography convention attendees curling out the door), was that the place had a very chain-like feel to it. I didn't know at the time, but after doing some looking I see that there are 7-8 'wichcrafts in New York, one in San Francisco, and one in Vegas. So this is definitely a big operation. And while the food was certainly at least respectable, you could tell that the 'operation' aspect of it overwhelmed the 'Tom Collicchio' aspect of it. In fact, Collicchio's name is nowhere to be seen, be it on the menus, under the logo, or anywhere else a restaurant would usually want to splash the credentials of their celebrity chef owners. Very curious. Anyway, the food: Good, but not terribly memorable. My pork was a little dry and crispy (in a bad way), the cabbage did nothing for it, and the mustard was all sort of on one side of the thing. Libby had a turkey sandwich with balsamic onions and avocado, which I actually thought was much better than mine. And we shared a chicken corn chowder soup, which was surprisingly bland. I mean, from what I know about Collicchio, he's all about fresh, natural, local foods, and letting the ingredients sort of do the heavy work. No fancy sauces, crazy spices, or anything like that. And you could sort of see that in 'wichcraft; the pork, despite being dry, tasted like pork. You could really taste the corn and chicken in the soup. The problem, I think, is that you have 5000 people (Exaggeration? No idea.) coming through those Vegas doors every day, in only a few short lunchtime hours, and their expectations probably aren't terribly high. How are you supposed to keep quality control in check in the situation they're in? All while keeping prices (to their credit) very reasonable. I don't know how much business the New York locations do, but there's no way they pump as many people through as this one. I wonder also if that's why his name is nowhere to be seen.
The Cheesecake Factory Asian chicken thing Las Vegas I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. "You went to Vegas and you ate at the Cheesecake Factory?" Yes. Look, we were there with my family. And it wasn't even their choice, it was my dad's cousin's choice. He lives in Vegas and offered to take us out for dinner, and that is what chose. The Cheesecake Factory in Caesar's Palace. Maybe he doesn't know it's a chain. Maybe that's the only one in Vegas. I don't know. But... but... ready for this? It was actually really good. Maybe not the best, but at least the most satisfying meal I had in Vegas. I know, I know, I know, I know.
Home Beef in barolo South Minneapolis Libby and I made this Crock Pot beef roast thing the other night, from a recipe in a slow cooker cookbook. Beef in barolo, it was called. Not too complicated, just some chuck cooked in crushed tomatoes, red wine, some garlic, sugar, onions, and rosemary. Oh, and a bay leaf. And Libby made some awesome horseradish/garlic mashed potatoes with it. The first night we had it, it was fine. The rosemary was pretty much the only flavor going on in it, and the beef turned out a little tough, but it was nice. But tonight, three nights later, the leftovers were amazing. Everything really just needed to sit and stew a little longer, I guess. Anyhow, that's all.
Korean Garden Bul go gi St. Paul It's official. I totally like Korean food. Sweet beef? Pickled everything? Absolutely. (I'll note that I tried going to the more-respectable Mirror Of Korea tonight, but they're closed on Tuesdays! What!?)
Sen Yai Sen Lek Beef curryish thing Northeast Minneapolis I finally, finally, finally got to Sen Yai Sen Lek tonight. And I'm happy about it. I had the Khao Soi, which sounded exciting because had pickled mustard greens, and was "curried," instead of "curry" (which I interpret to mean it's more of a dry curry seasoning, not a soupy coconut milk thing). So I was a little bummed at first when it showed up and was basically a yellow coconut curry. However--however--it was extremely flavorful, spicy, and impressive enough that I'm not too bummed that it was essentially a yellow curry. Libby had some cold shrimp salad which I actually thought might've been better than my dish, even. Which is amazing considering, you know, it's a cold shrimp salad. So while I'm not going to say the King And I has a new competitor, I'm definitely excited to go back there again (pretty much everything on the menu looked great). Plus, we had a coupon!
McDonalds Chicken McNuggets Bloomington Olympics advertising convinced me to seek out a McDonalds to try their new sweet chili dipping sauce. So I took the train to the mall in order to do just that, only to discover that--get this--the Mall of America McDonalds has Pepsi instead of Coke! What the hell?
C&G's Smoking Barbeque Pulled pork sandwich South Minneapolis I'd never heard of C&G's, nor was I seeking out barbeque, but my bus today missed my stop, then dropped me off at the next one, right across the street from this place. It was sort of in a strip-mall type situation, connected to a gas station, a cheap Chinese place (Xin Wong, actually), and a glucose-free bakery. It seemed like it might be alright, so I gave it a shot. It's not all that different than a Ted Cook's or Rooster's, in that it's a small little place with an order counter, and maybe 4 tables. Their menu has mostly standard pulled pork, ribs, brisket, cole slaw, that kind of thing. But they also have Coney dogs, "loose beef" sandwiches (sloppy joes, I assume), chili, and some other stuff. I went with the pulled pork and fries, and walked away neither disappointed nor blown away. I think there might've been something weird going on back in the kitchen, like something wasn't working right, and they were rushing to get out people's orders, which might've affected the food a bit. The fries are fresh-cut, but a little soggy, and the pork was tender, but maybe a little fatty (which mushed up the bun a bit). The sauce was fine, but nothing to write home about. I'll definitely go back in the future, since it's a short bike ride away, and there are plenty of menu items to try. But in the end I'd say it's maybe a little better than Caps, about equal to Rooster's, but nowhere close to Ted Cook's. But what is?
Masa Duck enchiladas Downtown Minneapolis Holy mole! The space is a little loud and overly formal, the prices are a little high, and I think the maitre d' made fun of me at one point, but this was the best meal I've eaten in months. Braised duck and a little crema and cheese in a tortilla topped with mole and a few dehydrated apple slices. It was barely even Mexican, but it was muy pinche delicioso.
The Baker's Wife Rolls South Minneapolis Whenever I buy rolls at the Baker's Wife, I am overcome by a clear feeling of guilt. "This shouldn't be so cheap," I think. "They must've made a mistake when they rang me up." It feels like I'm stealing, just walking out the door with caramel rolls and bread pudding I didn't pay for. If they go out of business some day (and let's hope they don't), it's all my fault.
Chickwich Chicken sandwich Bloomington Look, I know you're really excited about Chickwich. It's not a Chick-Fil-A, but it looks like the next best thing, right? Fried chicken? Waffle fries? Cartoon chicken in the logo? Considering the only Chik-Fil-A in Minnesota is a tiny little kiosk in Coffman Union on campus, the fact that it has a second-rate doppelganger in the Mall of America food court sounds like a cause for celebration! Well, guess what? It sucks.
Crave Happy hour stuff Bloomington There was no way this was supposed to be good. First of all, it's called Crave. If you follow Steve's "Happy Chef" rule of restaurant naming, you'll know that any restaurant that needs to put a qualitative statement in its name is likely compensating for its own low quality. Secondly, it's in the Mall of America, with second and third locations (which all opened magically around the same time) in the Galleria, and that new stupid shopping complex in St. Louis Park. No good can come of this, right? But holy shit, were we surprised (shocked, stunned, stupefied, even) when it turned out their food is actually really, really good. Everything from their Korean chicken nuggets to their mini sausage pizza and their sushi was all high quality, well-conceived, and extremely tasty. But their pulled pork sandwich--my god. In terms of "nice restaurant pulled pork" (i.e., not Ted Cooks), this sandwich was head and shoulders (pork shoulders!?) better than similar pulled pork at Pop!, Citizen, Town Talk, or anywhere else I've tried the pulled pork. The secret is that they aren't afraid to make it sloppy and tangy. No subtlety here. And the pickles were chopped up and mixed in instead of just perched on top. Magnifique. Their happy hour deals were all pretty reasonable (mostly $4 and $5 appetizers), but they absolutely did not skimp on portions. Considering we went to this place with pretty much zero expectations, it was actually a joy to sit there eating this stuff. I'm still in shock. It was like going to going to a Sandra Bullock movie and walking away talking about Oscars (well, Golden Globes at least). It isn't going to compete with The Modern or 112 or anywhere like that, but until they give us any reason to think otherwise (we haven't tried any entrees yet, which seem a little on the pricey side), I see no reason to eat anywhere else at the Mall of America. At least during happy hour.
Town Talk Diner Meatloaf South Minneapolis You'd expect something like meatloaf would be a no brainer at a place like Town Talk. Well you'd be wrong. They could definitely do better.
Pizza Joes Pizza South Minneapolis Pizza Joes (not related to Hiawatha Joe, I think, I hope) is a new-ish pizza delivery joint down the street, which has always seemed a little too "questionable" to actually order from. Plus, when you're in Fat Lorenzo's delivery zone, why bother with anything else? But for those times when you don't feel like paying for pizza by the pound or having to put on your fly fishing waders to eat it, you need an alternative. That's why we gave it a shot tonight, and it wasn't too bad. There's still something creepy about the place; it seems to be some sort of chain, but not actually a chain, but maybe? And the pizza had a certain frozen pizza vibe to it. But, like, really perfectly cooked frozen pizza. Now I'm just making it sound like it's horrible, but it's not. I think. I hope.
Busters Brunch South Minneapolis Asian pork soup: amazing. Beer braised beef sandwich: dry (again). Breakfast burrito: tasty, but greasy. Steak eggs benedict: undercooked, but still delicious. Omelette: Apparently good, because Jake actually showed signs of happiness and appreciation. All in all, quite impressed by Busters' brunch menu. But there was a curious lack of pancakey, french toasty, sweet flour-based breakfast items. And they still need to work on their grease levels.
The Mars Volta Octahedron The Mars Volta are a fancy, wiggly rubber lure, and I am but a mere sunfish, enjoying a swim and looking for something to eat. Preferably something wiggly. And they get me every damn time. I always seem to forget that their previous album was borderline unlistenable, as was the one before that and the one before that. And yet I purchase every one of them, hoping that this time--this time--they'll hit the jackpot and produce the all-time classic that I've been waiting for them to produce for the last six years. This new one is a little closer; at least it has songs on it. But even though they've gotten rid of a lot of the "masturbatory" incoherence (by the way, that phrase as it applies to the Mars Volta is worthy of an entire essay someday), but in my mind it is the combination of this masturbatory incoherence and revelatory hooks and rhythms that made those--sigh---two songs on their first album so perfect. I probably need to stop kidding myself. They're just not going to get there. But mark my word, about 16 months from now, when they release their next album, with its fantastic artwork and press release hype, the Mars Volta will be pulling a bloody hook out of my lip and frying me up with some cracker crumbs and butter. And tartar sauce.
