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September 24, 2023

Will Johnson

No Ordinary Crown

Way back, deep in the dustiest, cobwebbiest, just-barely-navigable guts of my memory, exist the names of some bands. Not the music, not the images, just the names. Like I saw them pop up once as an opener for another band’s poster, or maybe they were Pitchfork’s #3 review on a random Wednesday in 2006. My memories of these bands exist not even in “oh I’ve heard of them,” but closer to, “oh, um, I think they might’ve been a band unless I’m just imagining that.” I wish I could think of some examples, but the whole point is that I don’t remember. 

Will Johnson was the singer and songwriter of Centro-matic. Remember Centro-matic? Think real hard. Harder. When I read this fact for myself, my brain groaned and creaked, and sent me a little paper ticker readout that said “Centro-matic was a band. You heard that name once.” They existed. They’ve released about a dozen albums in the years since 1995. They’ve opened for every other indie rock band since 2000. I don’t think I’d heard even a second of their music.

But this Will Johnson album, it’s good. It’s so good that I dug into the archives (i.e. went to YouTube) and listened to some Centro-matic stuff. And it’s good too! In fact it sounds so similar to what 2023 Will Johnson is doing, it’s pretty remarkable. Gutsy, dusty, lo-fi Americana-ish distorted-guitar troubador stuff. Sun Volt, Grant Lee Buffalo, Songs Ohia, you get it. Even the old Centro-matic stuff has a hard-lived world-weariness to it, even though he was probably like 25 years old at the time. But now that he’s actually hard-lived and world-weary, the stuff really hits. Like one of those character actors who had to age into their own face.

(Okay here’s some more bands: American Analog Set. Earlimart. Bishop Allen. Great Lakes Swimmers.)

September 24, 2023

Pink Floyd

Wish You Were Here

Pink Floyd invented slowcore.

September 21, 2023

Sprain

The Lamb as Effigy

I think this is a good album, I think Sprain is a good music group. I think. But also I can barely make it through the whole thing. It’s just so intense and heavy and aggressive and also slow. Like Chat Pile meets Godspeed meets Unwound meets, like, all of those mid-album Olivia Tremor Control tracks that go on for like 20 minutes and make you forget that you’re listening to music. And it’s double-album length!

Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever actually make it all the way through this thing. Have I even heard the last two tracks yet? I don’t think I have.

September 18, 2023

Night Verses

Every Sound Has a Color in the Valley of Night

I desperately wish this band had a singer.

There are a hundred of these instrumental metal bands out there, who have chops for days, but seem content on just twiddling around and trying to out-complicate their friends in all the other instrumental metal bands. They sound robotic. They do nothing for me.

Night Verses is almost one of these bands. But I get something else from their music. They’re onto something. They’re creating sounds that are fresh and new and exciting, in metal. This is something! Finally!

But then nobody ever sings. I want so badly for these tracks to turn into songs. With the right vocalist, Night Verses could be my favorite metal band since Moon Tooth (which, really, is maybe the best comparison I can make to their sound). But no. Just guitars.

September 18, 2023

John Jody

Crooked Star EP

A couple years ago I happened on this solo recording project called Black Nash. I listened to that album like crazy that year—I think it was the first pandemic year—and was hella impressed with the guy behind Black Nash, who’s name I never really learned, but I remember reading he had spent some years in the Army and then recorded as Black Nash as soon as he finished his tour of duty and moved to New York. Real bedroom indie genius stuff; a little power-poppy, a little weirdo-folky, a little post-punk-angular. But the guy had clear talent, and a unique melodic voice.

Then yesterday I was thinking how I hadn’t heard anything from Black Nash since I first found it. Then a Bandcamp search led me to the page of John Judy, the real name behind Black Nash. He had some personal epiphany, it seems, and decided to record under his own name rather than the “band” identity of Black Nash. Cool great! But also a weird bummer, because he’s released stuff as John Judy which has gone completely under the radar, not just for me, but apparently to everybody. Because the “followers” (or whatever Bandcamp calls them) on his page are almost non-existent! Black Nash seems to have made at least a little splash, but his John Judy stuff seems to be a tree in the forest with nobody to hear it, or whatever.

This is sad! Because this Crooked Star EP is a beaut! A chill, more folk-indebted route than his Black Nash stuff, but it still has his voice and his melodic sensibilities coming through. If anything, it does all this without some of the snark and spit of his old stuff. It’s great! This guy is legit!

I hope he can figure out how to get his name out there though. Because the Bandcamp numbers are bleak. I’m gonna do what I can to get him to tour with Katie Kirby.

September 10, 2023

Jeff Rosenstock

Hellmode

Every Jeff Rosenstock album is a solid 8.

Except this one. This is a 7.999.

September 10, 2023

The Wrens

The Meadowlands

Much has been written about The Wrens. Though most of that was written back around 2003 or so, and honestly I don’t remember enough of the details to tell you about it here. Basically: they were a hot buzz band who somehow got screwed over by some record labels, disappeared for years and returned in 2003 with this surprise miracle album. Maybe they’ve done stuff since then? I don’t remember.

I never got fully invested in the Wrens. Who knows. But listening to Meadowlands today, I’m amazed at how iconic it sounds. The first few songs at least. “Happy,” “She Sends Kisses,” and “This Boy is Exhausted” are all towering, essential indie rock tracks that I feel like have been around for 100 years, they’ve always been here. Maybe they just used to get played on the radio a lot? I dunno. But odd that, if you  would have played those songs for me yesterday, I would’ve known every note of them, but I don’t know if I’d be able to tell you it was The Wrens.

And double odd that the rest of the album is just kinda there.

August 26, 2023

Curling

No Guitar

I’m slowly getting to know this Curling band. They’re good. That’s for sure. I like what they do. But it’s taking me some time to really pin down what that is.

They’re jangle pop with teeth, they’re Michael Penn post rock, they’re the rare band in 2023 aping Dirty Projectors, then suddenly they’re Aereogramme? My only gripe here is that the back half of the album goes real mellow, and just when you’re ready for another big pop rock rush, it just ends.

Anyway. Curling. I like it. I’ll let you know what happens.

August 25, 2023

Blake Mills

Jelly Road

Blake Mills has released one folk-Americana album, one droney meditative instrumental album, one album of jazz collaborations with one of the world’s greatest bassists, and one very chill meditative song-based album. They’ve all been great. No complaints. This new one is something like a combination of all of those previous 4, with the addition of some woodwinds. Why isn’t it great? Why do I have complaints?

August 2, 2023

Cornelius

Dream in Dream

This new Cornelius album caught me by surprise. It seems like he just released his last one, even though that was 6 years ago. But considering it was 11 years before that one, I guess this was a pretty fast turnaround.

It’s good but like, it sounds like his music has finally landed in a comfortable pattern. This album really feels like a partner to the previous one (from 6 years ago), a lot of the same tones, same techniques, same ideas. If anything, he’s taken all of his technique and is trying it out in a bigger, wider, song-based format. Almost like Cornelius’s version of yacht rock.

Also, I saw a guy the other night wearing a Fantasma tee shirt, and for a second I thought it was Michael Cera but it wasn’t.

September 18, 2023

Henry Public

Brooklyn

Breakfast stuff

Brooklyn

One of the best breakfasts I’ve had in a while.

September 18, 2023

Plow

San Francisco, CA

Breakfast stuff

San Francisco, CA

One of the best breakfasts I’ve had in a while.

September 18, 2023

In-N-Out Burger

Monterey, CA

Cheeseburger

Monterey, CA

This is my third time eating at In-N-Out, and I’m more convinced than ever: this place is eminently overrated.

I read people rave about it so often. It’s downright mythic (on this side of the country at least). My first two trips there left me feeling like I was missing something. And as the years pass, I think surely I must be missing something. Surely In-N-Out is as good as everybody says it is, and I must’ve just misremembered.

No. It’s not great. In fact, here’s some shit I’ll stand by: it’s barely better than McDonalds. It’s certainly better than Burger King. But it’s miles behind Five Guys and Culvers and Shake Shack. I think Wendy’s even makes a better burger. (White Castle, meanwhile, occupies a non-quantifiable tier of its own).

I’ll give In-N-Out this though: It’s cheap. Which is maybe part of the appeal I guess? But man.

And yes I got it Animal Style.

September 18, 2023

The Pocket

Carmel-By-The-Sea, CA

Jamaican pork chop

Carmel-By-The-Sea, CA

I don’t have much interesting to say about The Pocket, because not only will you probably never go to The Pocket, but you’ll probably never even go to Carmel-By-The-Sea (can’t we just call it “Carmel”?). But I’m leaving this here because this Jamaican style pork chop was actually damn good. If you served up on a sidewalk on Flatbush, would a passerby think that it was Jamaican? Probably not. But it was pineapple-y and habanero-y, so close enough.

But more importantly, the chop itself was perfectly cooked. Succulent. Tender. Flavorful on its own. I wanted to post about it here because, if you scroll down a bit, you’ll see my disappointment with a Gage & Tollner pork chop. But, if you were to combine this pork chop with G&T’s fermented ramp relish? Oof. Let me dream.

September 18, 2023

Salt & Straw

San Francisco, CA

Chocolate potato salad ice cream

San Francisco, CA

I’m not usually one to order “wacky” ice cream flavors like chocolate potato salad ice cream. But something about this one spoke to me: spiced mustard ice cream, perfectly summer-seasoned with paprika, celery seed, dill, and the sweet crunch of potato chip cookies. 

It mostly tasted like vanilla ice cream with fudge and some stale potato chips.

September 18, 2023

Beep's

San Francisco, CA

Cheeseburger

San Francisco, CA

The less that’s said about my trip to San Francisco, the better.

But here’s something to say: Beep’s!

I was looking into who had the best burgers in San Francisco, and couldn’t find much unanimity. A whole bunch of places show up on any given list, no clear favorites, no particular shape to discern. But one Reddit thread did has a whole lot of people replying to a mention of Beep’s, all super favorably.

And rightfully so! Beep’s delivered! It’s a classic old little order-at-the-window stand, just a row of outdoor stool seating and a couple picnic tables. And most importantly, a fantastic old neon sign.

Well, no, most importantly is the burger. I wonder if Beep’s has always made their burgers this way, or if they’ve changed their recipe in recent years, because this is basically your classic smash-burger. Midwest style, dare I say Milwaukee style (gross). It’s smashed flat, kinda crispy on the edges, you get it. Excellent burger! Beep’s!

September 18, 2023

Gage & Tollner

Brooklyn

Pork chop with fermented scapes

Brooklyn

Gage & Tollner is a very old and very fancy and very beautiful restaurant. It has this whole back story that I actually thought was different than it is; that being, it was one of the oldest restaurants in Brooklyn, this stunning gilded steakhouse downtown, which closed something like 70 years ago and stat boarded up, miraculously untouched, until it was uncovered and reopened just a couple years ago. Turns out this is only half true. It was indeed one of the oldest restaurants in Brooklyn, a gilded stunning steakhouse, that was closed and reopened. However, it was open up until like 2009 or something, so it’s not quite as miraculous of a story. (If you really want to experience that near exact miracle, do go check out King’s Theater on Flatbush. That place is truly a sight to behold, and it did sit boarded up and untouched for decades).

Anyway! Was Gage & Tollner good? Um. Yes. But. You are paying for it. Paying so much for it that I really shouldn’t have had to type that “um”.

My pork chop, for instance. When I lifted the first bite of that chop to my maw, I caught a sniff of the aromatics, and was nearly floored. I was prepared for it to be maybe the best thing I’d ever eaten. Ever. It smelled spectacular. But then—um—it was just good. The pork was a bit overcooked. A little dry. But those aromatics. The chop was served with a little garnish of fermented scapes, with some mustard seeds and who knows what else. This garnish was incredible. I do my lil Best Of The Year list at the end of every year, and I’m pretty sure the garnish alone is going to chart pretty high.

Everything else? Like, yeah, it was all good. But not secret-gilded-steakhouse good.

September 10, 2023

Superiority Burger

Manhattan

Superiority burger

Manhattan

I’m sorry to report that Superiority Burger is not worth the hype. But also it’s cool and good?

August 26, 2023

Pop Up Bagel

Manhattan

Bagel

Manhattan

Pop Up Bagel (god I’m already angry) is a new Tik-Tok-influencer-approved Greenwich Village bagel hell shop, which you’ve probably seen videos of in your Instagram feed even though you don’t even live in fucking New York, because everybody with a camera and an account called like “JOHNNY EATS” just needs to go film themselves tearing a bagel in half and dipping it in cream cheese, because god forbid we

I can’t even finish. I don’t have it in me.

The reason I’m so mad is that it was the best bagel I’ve ever eaten. Just absolutely furious.

August 26, 2023

Paneantico

Brooklyn

Pizza

Brooklyn

That photo up there doesn’t look like much. Kind of a mess. But I promise you it’s pizza and it was real good!

It came from Paneantico, which is either an Italian bakery, or a Greek bakery, or an Italian bakery run by Greeks, I don’t know. But it’s one of those places you see around here that’s just loaded up with little Italian cookies and mystery pastries, and you wonder how can they possibly sell all of them, and are they just throwing away pounds and pounds of uneaten cookies every week? There’s just so much stuff to pick from! 

And much like these other bakeries, you’ll find a tray or two of “pizza” up above some rolls or tarts. I use the scare quotes on “pizza”, because it almost looks to my (American) eye to be more like a bit sheet of focaccia with some tomato and maybe some cheese on top. But really this is probably just what pizza is, you know, in Italy.

This is the rare occasion that I actually got a piece of bakery pizza. Note, I didn’t say slice. It’s definitely a piece rather than a slice. But now I’m definitely going to get bakery pizza more often, because this is maybe the best pizza I’ve eaten in my neighborhood. Rich, fresh, simple.